FKA TWIGS:We Should be Reframing Narratives Surrounding Domestic Abuse
The work of FKA Twigs has lent itself as inspiration to me more times than I care to count. On most occasions it’s the rare snaps of her that do the rounds on social media, wearing vintage Vivienne Westwood, walking arm in arm through the streets of NYC with a male counterpart, that inspires me to part with my money to recreate her looks. Other times it’s the unparalleled visual aesthetics of her music videos that force me to sit down and write. I can even go as far as to say that the Gloucestershire born performer had her very own feature in my university dissertation. Anything Twigs does is a cultural reset and that’s the level of artistry we should all aspire to.
In the autumn of 2019, when I was fighting to get a feature in any music publication that I could, I eagerly anticipated the release of Magdalene, I knew that unlike other album releases I wouldn’t struggle to find things to say about it, I knew that it would be exceptional. For various reasons my review of Magdalene never came to fruition, in fact it was a few weeks post release that I actually managed to get around to playing the whole thing through. By then I had missed the boat for submitting it to a music platform who would promote the article in circuit for 24 hours across their socials, before it would disappear into the archives never to be read again. In a way I’m glad I never got a chance to hastily assemble some words that would never really do justice to the complexity of the album. Today I see Madelene, and even Twigs herself, as more than just a product of the moment, what she stands for now in February of 2021, is much more than the short life span given to most musicians of this age.
Twigs recent feature on Louis Theroux’s ‘Grounded’ podcast series is one of the most thought provoking displays of honesty I’ve heard in a while. In case you’re yet to listen, I’ll briefly explain that the podcast itself exists in two very important parts. The first half offers us an insight into Twigs’ life in lockdown, her naming of Magdalene, and what that album means to her as a piece of work. In the second half we see the artist return to be interviewed a few months later, explaining that recent developments have encouraged her to speak honestly about how she had been coping during the period that the first interview took place. Twigs decides to speak openly about her experiences of having been in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship and the subsequent healing she was forced to do in the wake of her trauma. The format of the podcast is quite unlike anything you’ll ever hear from a figure in the public eye, but I highly encourage you to listen to it now if have you have yet to do so.
Since the interview was released, Twigs story has fronted several news outlets and she’s offered more words on her experience to CBS and Elle magazine. Much of her subsequent conversations surrounding the abuse she suffered at the hands of former partner Shia LaBeouf concern her picking apart a question that herself, and abuse sufferers alike, will know all too well: ‘why didn’t you just leave?’.
If you’ve never been in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship this question might seem straight forward to you, after all its seemingly logical right: why would you stay in a relationship with an abuser? But Twigs’ argument surrounds where we as a society are choosing to pin point blame. There are multiple factors within abusive relationships that keep sufferers from feeling as though they are able to leave. Twigs’ interview with Louis Theoroux explains these factors well. In toxic relationships where one-person desires to hold power over the other, manipulation, gaslighting and love bombing are all factors in why someone becomes ‘hostage’ to their partner. Abuse is cyclical meaning it exists in carefully considered cycles. Abusers often begin by making their significant other feel as though they are on top of the world, as though they are the singular focus of their attention, slowly over time this excessive love turns sour, and the abuser begins to diminish the self-worth of the other person. The sufferer eventually becomes dependent of their abuser to validate their own self-worth. As Twigs describes, time becomes divided into good and bad days, days where it feels like things might one day get better followed by periods of intense psychological abuse.
Abusers similarly use gaslighting to make their partner question the legitimacy of their own emotions. The sufferer will begin to doubt their own version of events because the abuser manipulates them into believing that the way they are perceiving a situation is wrong. They begin to slowly doubt their own sanity and recollection of events. All of these factors operate to make the victim of the abusive relationship feel dependant on their abuser and they live in fear of what might happen should they decide to leave.
Twigs is completely right when she says that we should be reframing the narratives that surround abuse. Helplines for victims exist to offer support within a situation that is often entirely isolating, a situation that makes you feel as though you have nowhere to turn. Rather than asking victims the very weighted question of why they didn’t just leave we should be pin pointing accountability on the abusers themselves.
In the ‘Grounded’ podcast Twigs explains that her second studio album gained its name from the biblical figure of Mary Magdalene who, for Twigs, represents the image of the ‘misunderstood’ woman. Mary Magdalene is most commonly depicted throughout history as a prostitute and rarely is there ever a light shone on her capabilities as a healer and herbalist. Louis Theroux a-likens this concept to the figure of Charlotte Brontë’s ‘mad woman in the attic’ from Jane Eyre and how Jean Rhys had flipped the narrative by writing a novel through the first wife’s eyes, depicting her struggle as an immigrant from the West Indies and entering into a marriage with a man who did not love her. Rhys was right to offer up this perspective - the trope of the ‘misunderstood’ woman is littered throughout literature and culture and this is because rarely are women ever able to shape their narratives and experiences for themselves. What Twigs is now doing by coming forward and speaking openly about her experience, is reclaiming the power that her former abuser once had over her, and in turn, reclaiming the narrative that puts blame on the victims of abuse.
Twigs decision to share her story is monumental. Not only is she calling out the wider problem of where we, as a society, pin point blame in instances of abuse, but she is using her platform to create solidarity between herself and other sufferers. She is creating open conversation around a subject that is littered with stigma, one where it is rarely the victims who get to have the first or last say. Being in the public eye and choosing to share your story is hard, especially when you face being gaslit further by those who want to deny your experiences, but reshaping narratives and allowing those who have been victims of abuse to lead the conversation is of paramount importance in helping people who are still isolated within toxic relationships.
If you, or anyone you know, has been affected by abuse find helpful information below -
The National Domestic Abuse Helpline
0808 2000 247
The 24 Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline (Northern Ireland)
0808 802 1414
Childline
0800 1111
Scotland's Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline
0800 027 1234
Live Fear Free Helpline (Wales)
0808 80 10 800
Men's Advice Line
0808 801 0327